I decided that I want to sell off most of the rabbits. I had been considering it before, but now I'm on board for it. The kids want to keep a couple of their favorites as pets, but I'd like to rehome most, if not all, of the breeders. I want to keep some, but the reality is that I don't really have the time or energy anymore. It's about an hour a day to do all of the barn chores (feeding and watering everyone), and when it's -60 in February, even properly bundled, an hour is a long time to be out doing chores. We didn't do much with them this summer, production is down (again, partly because we didn't really dedicate the time to breeding them) and sales are down due to Facebook banning animal sales. I haven't processed any rabbits in nearly two years, so it's not like they're filling the freezer at this point either. So - if anyone is interested in buying some rabbits - for pets or for breeders - now's the time. Make me an offer.
I've been going through one of my weird mental phases this past week. These happen from time to time, when it's almost like a bipolar high. It can last for days or weeks. I eat less, I'm more active, I have all kinds of ideas, and more energy than usual. This time I'm inspired to change myself. I've been stuck in a rut for years - same clothes, same hair, same everything. While I don't have any money right now to go buy a new wardrobe, and the thought of going to a salon is appalling to me, I've found little ways to change. I parted my hair to the side and flipped it over - it's different but it looks nice and feels good to be a little different. Turns out that when I put it in a ponytail this way it doesn't give me the migraine headaches like I get putting it in a normal ponytail (my only hair style other than "it's brushed."). I pulled a couple of button-up shirts out of the back of the closet that I haven't worn in years and my husband asked why I was dressing up. Well, isn't it about time I wore something other than graphic tees and jeans?
We're going to a convention this month. This is something #1 really wants to go to, and we're presenting it as her birthday gift, though her birthday isn't until December. She's invited a couple of her friends, and Tony and I and #2 are all going. It's about three hours away and we will have to stay in a hotel, but tickets are bought, so here we go. My issue is that I have horrible anxiety in crowds. Terrible anxiety. Crippling. The thought of this convention terrified me. So my daughter suggested I role play. This is a convention of role players, nerds, geeks, and anime folks, so role playing would be acceptable. My problem? My only "character" is my D&D character and she's definitely not an option to role play (she's a thief who's also a merchant so she can sell what she steals). Role playing that character would be asking for trouble. So I've been forced to come up with a new character. Originally it was supposed to be just for this occasion, but really I'm feeling the love for it, so I may stick with it for other crowded scenarios in the future if this works. But oh there's a twist... such a twist...
My new character - my new extension of myself... is androgynous. Now, before anyone gets in a huff that I'm not respecting the LGBTQ+ and/or androgynous folks out there, I was androgynous growing up, but five high risk pregnancies, nursing five babies, decades of misdiagnosed and untreated mental health issues, and a chronic illness that can randomly keep me in bed for weeks to months at a time have left my body in permanent "overweight mom" mode. So I bought a binder. A tank-top style binder to smash everything down to give me a less pronounced "I've had babies" body. It's not perfect, I still have pretty obvious breasts, but my kids assure me "you just look like you have man boobs." Well, that's a start I guess.
I've also been working on losing some weight. I'm not one for an exercise routine, because I'd get bored and not want to keep up with it. So instead, I turn on some music, turn the volume up, and I dance. I dance while I wash the dishes, I dance while I pick up the living room, I dance in the kitchen until I'm good and sweaty, then I take a shower and feel better about myself. So far I'm down something like 7-pounds in the last week. You can't tell by looking at me, but I'm hoping it's just the start. I do have a weight goal that I am trying to reach before the convention. Just a personal one. I want to get back to the low weight I had just before I got sick this last time and gained everything back. And then from there I want to push hard to lose more. With a daily exercise commitment and a good diet, I should be able to get in better shape and keep it off, if I can avoid another chronic pain issue again.
I posted a potential OC cosplay character to most of my social media today (you can find it here on Instagram or here on TikTok) and asked for feedback. I don't really have much of a following, so I'm not getting much of a response. It was fun fixing my hair for it. I've been following a particularly great cosplayer and picking up little tips here and there. It's been a learning experience if nothing else. #1 is already planning for me to cosplay Hange from Attack on Titan... but I don't have any desire to wrestle into the straps or try to keep white pants clean, so I don't know how well it will go.